Once again

Once again, I am here writing.

It is ironic, but the more entrenched in social media I become, the more distant my friends seem, and the more pronounced solitude appears. And this is nothing new of course.

Once again, I am writing out of a heavy heart. I now understand why the great artists are often troubled souls, though I can hardly compare myself to their likes.

I am hoping that with each dark day, with each documentation, I will gain perspective and eventually wake up, walk away. Away from fruitless entanglements, away from wanting to be in the lives of people who doesn't need me, away from making myself someone else's option.

I often wonder if what I lack is a healthy dose of self-respect that all other girls seem to possess. That perhaps it has passed me over like a lacking chromosome, a genetic defect.

Once again, I have become an option in another's life. And maybe once again I'll tell the story. If I don't, pray for me that this story ends well.